ledAstray
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 01/15/09
Posts: 723
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| | 08/09/10 at 06:57 AM | Reply with quote | #31 |
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| Again: if you're in your 20's and you're still a virgin, do whatever it takes to get laid. There's no need to pressure yourself, but there's also no point in procrastinating. The reason I'm suggesting superficial changes is because they are the easiest to do. Still they can make a huge difference. If you'd rather "search deeper within yourself for the truth", do it. I didn't say anything against doing that, all I'm saying is that making superficial changes and below surface changes aren't mutually exclusive at all. So do whatever makes you feel better and more successful and don't make it harder on yourself than you have to.
BTW: Changing something about yourself (no matter what it is) for the better will push you out of your comfort zone and may lead to more willingness to do so in other areas of your life.
__________________
"Practice yourself, for heaven's sake in little things, and then proceed to greater."
Epictetus |
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lonelystar
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 234
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| | 08/09/10 at 08:24 AM | Reply with quote | #32 |
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Quote: Originally Posted by Cameron
Lonely star, do you realise you've actually supported LedAstrays argument?
so I learn to take care of my body by eating healthy, getting dental care, body massage etc.. They may or may not directly make me more attractive to girls, but it is directly making me feel happier and more comfortable..
Which makes you better with women, right?
Now I know you went on to talk about how making positive changes in your life is more important, and I wholeheartedly agree, but you and LedAstray both agree that looking better WILL help you with girls (which makes sense).
what's the problem? Did I ever attack his argument before?
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Hammer_Bro
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 04/30/09
Posts: 100
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| | 08/09/10 at 04:25 PM | Reply with quote | #33 |
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Quit arguing, please.
Taking care of one's appearance is a good point IMO. The better I dress, the more I feel better about myself. I have a cool leather jacket, which is the closest to "Bad-boy" look I can get without having to pretend anything, heh. I have long, black coat I often wear during winter. I have absolutely zero interest in fashion, the most important factors about clothes are that they're 1) clean 2) intact and 3) worn by me because I like them. But still, I think I should buy clothes more often. It's not like I'd be spending a lot of money since I buy most of mine from second-hand shops. I have only one jeans and a pair of Converse All Star shoes with pink shoelaces.  I especially like T-shirts with weird, smart-ass texts like the one which has "Milf hunter" written on it. Remember also what I said, when I did cold approaches, I got several girls very excited at first, so I'm sure I don't dress horribly.
Interestingly enough, I've had an underbite for several years and got braces onto my lower teeth some time ago and neither of these have ever affected my self-image negatively. Not even when I've had guys clearly insulting me about my teeth. I have to go through surgery that will alter the look of my facial features, too. 
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lonelystar
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 234
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| | 08/09/10 at 05:35 PM | Reply with quote | #34 |
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Just as I thought. It's not about your dress and clothes. It's all about 'attitudes', which is a reflection of what's deeper within oneself. For example, if you don't hang with gangster, don't put in the work personally, don't get that mentality, don't fill your life with the culture, even if you dress yourself up like one, you still can't pull off the attitude. No respect is demanded but earned.. So work on your attitude man.. Clothes don't matter as much..
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ledAstray
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 01/15/09
Posts: 723
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| | 08/09/10 at 07:38 PM | Reply with quote | #35 |
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| I'll stop talking about fashion right here and there, I'd just like to address two points:
- I have absolutely zero interest in fashion - I especially like T-shirts with weird, smart-ass texts written on it
These two are HUGE turn-offs for women. What I'm reading is that you don't really take good care of yourself. And if you're not taking good care of yourself, why would you take good care of a woman? Also note that most women care about fashion to some extend. Thus if you're not dressing well you're limiting yourself to either women that don't care about fashion or women that are so overwhelmed with your personality that they'll try changing your style during the relationship.
Just imagine you would love music. Let's say it's very important to you and you are very passionate about the bands you listen to. It took you years to develop your music style to get to the awesome music you're listening to now. Now you're meeting a girl and you ask her the big question: "what music are you listening to?". And all she's replying is: "Well, basically anything. Whatever they play on the radio.". How would you feel? Would you ditch her just because of her music style? Probably not. But she would have a much harder time convincing you she's the one you want as a girlfriend.
The same applies to fashion/body language etc. Girls will ALWAYS ask themselves: "what will my friends think about this guy?". And you're gonna have the most success if her female friends are having a crush on you. So again: take every advice you can get and don't limit yourself to working on just one are of your life. Also there's a reason a lot of life coaches start their transformations with a complete makeover of their students.
This being said, could you start describing a typical (or recent) interaction with a girl? It's easier to give advice when you're giving more details.
__________________
"Practice yourself, for heaven's sake in little things, and then proceed to greater."
Epictetus |
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ltmillar
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 11/14/07
Posts: 161
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| | 08/10/10 at 12:30 AM | Reply with quote | #36 |
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To address your original question
Quote: Hiring a prostitute would be the easiest way to get laid, but it's expensive even if I banged for just 30 mins. I've never had sex. Do you guys think losing one's virginity to a prostitute would leave a message on the subconscious mind, saying: "I can never get sex without paying for it"?
I know it would be very lame ass way to have sex for the first time! It's hopeless, I've been unable to connect with women no matter how many times I've tried and feel like I can't do it. I'm not sure...those hookers might carry some nasty STDs, too! In the worst case I'll be 100-200 euros poorer, feel very crappy from a bad experience and have AIDS, lol! Maybe I should try for a few more years to become the kind of man women are attracted to...
I might not be the only one who's pondered this kind of thing.
Just by your choice of words, and for YOU, I'd say NO! Don't hire a prostitute for your first time. It will leave you mentally scarred for some time. All of the negativity you have presented in your question leads me to believe that you would carry that negativity into and through your time with a prostitute and resent having done it and resent yourself for doing it.
If I'm reading your post incorrectly, then you can feel free to ignore mine. But it's just what I feel coming across from you.
__________________
-Dave
When considering a choice between two paths, if you don't listen to yourself, you will regret the choice. If you do listen, and it doesn't turn out the way you wanted, you are still often satisfied with having made the choice you did. What feels right for you? Listen to that voice. |
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