San_Francisco_SeanFan
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 06/04/09
Posts: 240
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| | 04/17/10 at 01:07 AM | Reply with quote | #1 |
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Hola, everyone! Matthew from last August's San Francisco PSP here. Just wanted to write a few lines, as Sean's emails have called for feedback on the forum and I've been delinquent... 
I've actually been tied up since the beginning of the month with a weeklong visit from an old boarding school friend of mine, and also preparations for (and now recovery from) the same. Between that, working, and a good deal of weekend partying, I admit I haven't yet gotten to the UCP exercises, though I have been trying to be mindful about how much eye contact I've been making.
I thought, though, since this forum is all about self-improvement and self-awareness, it might help to give a brief account of my recent state of mind...
I've had more adventures with women in terms of dating and hooking up this year so far than the rest of my life combined. I've had a few sexual partners and two instances of three dates in a fairly short time window. And while I wouldn't quite say that I've gorged myself or anything, I did have an awkward encounter last month that left me feeling somewhat dirty, an entirely new sensation. The gal in question was kind and interesting, and we had a fair amount in common, but she was also, not merely not attractive but positively unattractive. Being drunk and foolhardy, I wound up at her place, where we made out in a sexual manner before I freaked (in a calm, low-key sort of way) and bailed for the safety of my own place. Well, a valuable lesson learned: don't force a turn-on, even if a gal deserves a better genetic lot than she's been dealt. One must attend to one's own contentment first, even in the shallow pools of the mind.
I've also recently spent a night with a beautiful, cool girl at the end of our third date. We agreed we weren't looking for a relationship (I was fine with this, as I respected her as a person but wasn't romantically intrigued), then hooked up. Well, that was alright, but I'm looking for more than just hookups with cute girls, and also more than a few dates with interesting, neat girls who aren't great matches for me. Having tried a few alternatives, however briefly, I can now confidently say that I'm looking for a great girlfriend.
So, here's a brainstorm on the sort of gal I'd like to meet:
- Age 20-25 (though 23 or younger is best), 5'7 or shorter, almost definitely white/Middle Eastern/Indian/Hispanic/some combination thereof, and cute.
- Joie de vivre!
- A strong enough personality to have fun, belly-laugh, make an impression and assert herself, but feminine enough to make me feel man enough for her
- Nonsmoker, little to no pot, not into organized religion, not a frequent clubber/partier/raver
- Liberal, preferably Democratic (i.e., not apathetic)
- Likes movies, the outdoors, gets along well with my roommates, cat ownership severely discouraged (allergies)
- Laid-back, appreciates my sense of humor
- Has progressive, ambitious life goals/hopes as well as a sense of how to go about getting them, but isn't high-strung/overstressed
- Is intelligent, learned, and not too cool to show it in conversation
- Lives in SF or is willing to commute in for most dates (unless her place is really awesome, bonus points if she comes to mine most times)
And a brainstorm of what I'd like in a relationship:
- Monogamy, clear communication, good feelings, fun dates, maybe even the "L" word at some point (no, not "lesbianism")
- Generally visiting two to three times a week, including once during the weekend
- A possibility of cohabitation - the better part of a year or even years down the road, but a vague, "maybe someday, I could see that..." possibility nonetheless
- Someone to cook, relax and Netflix with some evenings, but who'll also want to look for fun new things about town to attend and enjoy together.
The million-dollar-question, of course, is how to find such a gal, and how to make sure that I'm in the right psychological state to really brighten her life for a while when I do. I've got a pretty decent peer support group, if not as large a network as I'd like, and I'll soon have to start job hunting, as my current gig lapses in June. I also hope to start getting out more for walking/exercising/etc.
And that's about where I am now.
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