Benson
Sherpa
Registered: 03/10/08
Posts: 76
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| | 09/06/09 at 12:16 PM | Reply with quote | #1 |
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Hi Almog and everybody,
Incase you guys don't know me, I'm Ben, just turned 25. Was in the UCP about a year ago but stopped it, and am back again.
Its interesting that I should just join the UCP and find you doing coaching for it, because recently I found your site and youtube videos and it interested me as i'm in Australia, about 4 hours from Melbourne. Though the seminars are not possible at the moment as I quit my job and went on the dole so I could do a small business course and teach martial arts. So money is quite short. But I will make sure I have enough for the UCP for a while.
One question though Almog, have you had any affiliation with Badboy? You initially did remind me of him, but listening to you and watching you more, i'm thinking that less.
So onto the podcast and exercises.
This podcast shone light on my biggest challenge at the moment. ACTION and comfort zone.
In the last few years i've got caught up in the "you can sit at home and do inner game work and eventually it will happen in real life without effort" thing.. I swear some of them market it like that. But going from big success when I really worked on it and took alot of action to barely nothing.. the proof is in the results. I've learnt alot of good things from inner game work. But need to really combine it will expanding my 'edge'.
Basically i've been sitting at home on the computer, not going out much, thinking "if I work on myself at home it will be all ok".. Fuck that.. maybe its helped a bit, but the only times its helped is when i've gone out combined with it. (e.g natural grounding then going out) and afformations.
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1. Make a list of 2-4 things you should have been doing for a while but have been putting off. This isn’t in the area of confidence with women.
1. Clean my car (happens RARELY, unless my friend gets sick of it being dirty and cleans it haha, I hate cleaning, its quite dirty at the moment).
2. Code Of The Natural Exercises. (Rob Brinded program on posture, and moving like a 'natural' apparently, sounds good but haven't really tried it yet).
3. Do work on my business plan. (I've been putting this off for weeks, and only have about 8 weeks total to do it. Back at school this was common, i'd do things very very close to the due date, gotta interrupt this pattern).
4. Write a letter to my natural mum. (I am adopted, used to write each other, we lost contact because I didn't reply back for ages and have put it off for years due to fear and insecurity about it..
2. Your comfort zone and your edge – Notice in the next week the things that you avoid doing because you are uncomfortable doing them. I've been noticing these things a bit more lately. Some ideas. Some of these are too far past my edge. Can't quite decide which ones on the edge yet.
-Problems showing interest in girls. Maybe this is from the old PUA crap of "you must never compliment, be a asshole" kind of BS.. so maybe I can start by checking them out a bit more overtly when I see one I like, or complimenting girls I already know.
-Talking to girls I don't know. I'm usually pretty good if a girl is introduced to me or I somehow come across and pretty good when they serve me in a shop. But when it comes to approaching myself, thats out of my edge at the moment. I've been saying 'hi' to some women while walking past them as a start.
-Going out to find new people to teach martial arts. Have 1 student, a friend because I haven't gone out to really look for good students. A good start is ringing a few people who have expressed interest in the past and trying again to get them to train.
-Ringing a girl on the phone. I used to do this. Then sms become popular and gave me an excuse to not have to do it. Now I find it quite hard. Also phone is harder because i'm not a real talkative person, I can get away with that more in person if i'm with a girl as the environment can bring conversation and I can be physical. I liked your idea of putting their number in the phone but not ringing as a start. As even thinking about ringing them and having the number up makes my heard beat harder, so its a start.
-Being more of a leader in my friends circle. Its always been that I just seem to go along with it, i'm just there and go along with it. I can start by organizing something little that a few of us can goto, even if its just going out to the clubs.
-I still live with my parents, and I feel its a big thing stopping my full maturity. I have moved out twice for 6 months both times and ended up back here. I do want to move to Melbourne but finances is the question.. so maybe if I found somewhere cheap where I am for a while, as that will build on my maturity and being able to look after myself better. I could start by inspecting some houses and searching for possible places to live.
...
Sexy Time to All 
-Ben
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QBall
Navigator
Registered: 04/10/08
Posts: 17
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| | 09/07/09 at 08:47 AM | Reply with quote | #2 |
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Ben that's awesome, great post!!
I guess I'm a little worried with your list of 2-4 things as they seem to be things which are emotionally hard for you. Would you be able to do them in a week - are you sure?
Remember that this exercise is about building your own integrity. If you don't finish doing the things on the list you've done the opposite, so I just suggest you reconsider and post your reply here, and follow through with it.
As for your edges, they all sound quite good, and I think you're on the right track here man... Good stuff, and keep noticing more as they come along.
I'm glad you liked the phone number example, and it's important that you accept that as your current edge - which you are 
Keen to read more from you bro,
Q
__________________
"The iron ore feels itself needlessly tortured as it goes through the furnace. The tempered blade looks back and knows better."
- Japanese proverb
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