John_V
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 11/08/07
Posts: 336
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| | 09/05/09 at 11:08 AM | Reply with quote | #1 |
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Getting ready for a New Bootcamp with new goals and drive.
I may not get through all of them, but I am sure I am not taking anything lying down.
Will get through the new podcast and with the new homework.
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A man is defined by how much he loved, how much he lived, and how much he is willing to let go. |
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QBall
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Registered: 04/10/08
Posts: 17
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| | 09/05/09 at 07:58 PM | Reply with quote | #2 |
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Hey John, I think I know you from the PU101 days - didn't I teach you in Sydney?? 
Looking forward to reading your journal man, you are one active guy on in here and inspire lots of others!
Q
__________________
"The iron ore feels itself needlessly tortured as it goes through the furnace. The tempered blade looks back and knows better."
- Japanese proverb
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John_V
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 11/08/07
Posts: 336
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| | 09/08/09 at 02:36 AM | Reply with quote | #3 |
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Hey Al,
It's me! The one and only! How have you been, bro'?
Didn't expect you to be here. But man, am I looking forward to see what you are able to teach. I know first-hand the knowledge, experience and the attention you give to your work!
Although, you don't write, you don't call, no flowers, not even a text message!
Damn!! I feel so lonely...! 
==========
Just a thought of mine:
Living in the Edge of Your Fear = (This comment from a hero of mine)
"Excellence is the gradual improvement of the fundamentals."
- Adam Gilchrist
==========
Homework:
Tasks/Integrity:
- Listen to Malcolm Gladwell's "Outliers"
I have been putting this off for a while since I have been really busy with a changing career, working out, and other errands I do everyday. What I realized is that I spent more time sitting down and pondering/complaining of "How much work I have..." instead of doing things in smaller amounts so I can consistently do them, even if it is in a gradual pace.
What to do:
Am putting aside at least 20 minutes a day to make sure that I am able to listen to the audio book.
(Ironically, the book is about small, gradual efforts through long periods of time to reach excellence)
Time limit: End of this month or till the book is finished. - Weight Gain: 78kgs
Something I've been working on for almost a year now. Used to be just 66kgs last November 2008.
Not something I have been putting off. It's just that I am going out of whack with my structure since my weight does fluctuate. Was 77kgs last week, now just 75kgs. (Even though I feel stronger now than last week...)
What to do:
Just extend the time for weight gain by another month.
Time limit:
By end of October 2009: 77-78kgs.
By December 2009 - January 2010: 80kgs - Read/Learn about Real Estate (way of amassing passive income)
I know that it is good to start early when it comes to investing. However, I feel like it's too much work to read from the start, when I know almost nothing about it. What to do:
Take incerpts of Real Estate Basics, and buy the book, "Real Estate for Dummies."
As well as, if there are forums that are available about investing, I am going to start, today.
It would give a monetary boost in the near future.
Time limit:
Have the basic knowledge and logistical information by December 2009. Have a source for information by this weekend (ie from the Australian or Better Homes Magazines)
- Folding clothes
No idea why I put this in, I am just going to finish this tonight.
- Family favors
A lot of people ask me for some reason. It can be a bit annoying since I, in almost all cases, do my own work, and I deal with all of my problems myself.
I do them though because I care.
Will finish them all by the end of this week.
Edge/Gradual Improvement: - I have trouble maintaining a relationship with women
I remember the time when I entered "Pick-up" nearly 2.5 years ago: I was heartbroken, alone, and have little to no experience with women. I used the tools that I learned to get back at them, and get my ego a great boost.
After endless nights of going to clubs to practice, chasing women on the streets, and getting one-night stands, I still think about the ones that got away.
And the reason is that I never liked myself. I never knew how to take rejection because, even from the girls that liked me back, I didn't believe that I was likeable. I just wanted to be liked since I didn't like myself.
And only a couple of months ago that I made steps to make sure that I do things that I like to do: my dreams, ambitions, and goals; despite the criticisms of others.
Though I am growing to like myself better every single day, I still kind of hold back since I have never been in a relationship before... Steps to Take:
My everyday work: Talk to one person a day. If it is a girl, talk and flirt to her (just one a day).
This enables me to gradually increase my communication skills and my awareness when I talk to someone. Whatever feeling I have, I let myself be aware of it and take note of it.
As well as, it allows me to enjoy a conversation for what it is. During that time, it is a relationship at that moment.
- Letting things "die" with a girl
Things are going great, we like each other, and then, it just dies.
No idea why, and sometimes, I would think that it is my fault. So I would be desperate in trying to fix things.
Steps to Take:
Invite people to my life. Much that it is really comfortable to do things on my own, inviting people would let them see what my world is.
Little tasks to be done:
- Washing dishes: Done
- Folding sheets: Done
- Doing favor for cousin: Pending till 11pm
- Doing this homework: Done
- Catching up with "career": Done
==========
Long and Short Term, and Everyday things: DONE
__________________
A man is defined by how much he loved, how much he lived, and how much he is willing to let go. |
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QBall
Navigator
Registered: 04/10/08
Posts: 17
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| | 09/08/09 at 07:10 AM | Reply with quote | #4 |
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John,
Seems you're quite proficient at setting long term goals and following up with them so I'd give you the thumbs up for this general list...
ALTHOUGH..
For you guys who don't have a great working list of goals, please do the homework as stated - simple tasks like cleaning the room, making a phone call. Something that you don't really have any sort of inner resistance or struggle and you KNOW you will complete.
John good on you for having your integrity in line like this. I'm sure it helps you a lot knowing that you do what you promise yourself you will do!
Q
__________________
"The iron ore feels itself needlessly tortured as it goes through the furnace. The tempered blade looks back and knows better."
- Japanese proverb
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http://www.warmalpha.com/ucp |
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John_V
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 11/08/07
Posts: 336
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| | 09/18/09 at 08:21 AM | Reply with quote | #5 |
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To re-cap/add on last week's H.W.: 1. List of 2-4 things that I have been putting off this week.
Finish 2 applications for the dream job/s I have been researching about for a week. Finish research on both ING and Australian Super Superannuation schemes to see which one give me more benefits and then switch there. Adding/improving to new training routine to have more variety and strength (inspired by a video in rosstraining.com. Damn, that guy is STRONG! ) Clean my room.
Note: Other tasks/chores to do: DONE
2. By the 31st September, I would have:
Finished all applications for the careers that I needed to do. Done the applications to the better Superannuation that suits me. Have a new training regime to be done immediately (On October 1st or earlier) Finish Malcolm Gladwell's "Outliers" (Currently at CD 4 of 7) Look at progress of my Short-Term (achievable) Goals. A clean room.
3. Looking at Short-Term (achievable) Goals
To reach 80kgs by December 2009 (Currently dropped back to 75kgs. But at the moment, stronger than ever.) Finish up Malcolm Gladwell by the end of the month. Have a new career by January 2010. Have basics in Real Estate by December 2009.
4. Comfort Zone/Edge
Lots of trouble getting up early. Have the "nerves" when kissing/"escalating to sex" with a girl. (Since I don't do it to often) Training 6x a week for 2x45 minutes sucks cause it requires effort. (Only in the beginning. I love it when the endorphins start kicking in! ) I don't go out too much to try out new things since I tell myself I don't have enough money.
5. Steps to take
Setting the alarm clock to remind myself and be aware of my sleeping pattern. Start being aware of myself when I start talking to women I like and see what my reactions are when I start "escalating". Give myself a proper time to warm-up and cooling down. Plus start adding in variety. Start making money.
==========
(To be continued)
__________________
A man is defined by how much he loved, how much he lived, and how much he is willing to let go. |
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QBall
Navigator
Registered: 04/10/08
Posts: 17
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| | 09/19/09 at 01:00 AM | Reply with quote | #6 |
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John, overall I like it.
I get a feeling you're looking at A LOT of things at once. Has it been your experience that you can work on all of those?
Integrity is a muscle and I find initially it's good to make sure you've mastered the process of improvement and directed self-effort in one area.
The most succesful people I know (e.g. someone who trained for the ironman in 6 months from being a smoker to completion, a company owner multi millionaire) split their lives into blocks of 12 weeks (3 months) and have a singular or dual focus. You seem to have a lot.
Is it possible that this is you leaping out of your comfort zone? Has this been working for you? Consider the possibility it could be better (and overall quicker in the long-term) to focus on one of these at a time until it starts becoming a habit and hence automatic...
Q
__________________
"The iron ore feels itself needlessly tortured as it goes through the furnace. The tempered blade looks back and knows better."
- Japanese proverb
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John_V
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 11/08/07
Posts: 336
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| | 09/20/09 at 03:39 AM | Reply with quote | #7 |
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To be honest, I am only starting to see how I actually work best. I am still adjusting to how much work I can actually handle since I know that whatever I do, I always get them done.
Whether I am leaping out of my comfort zone or not, I have yet to find out since I haven't burnt out nor yet to quit in any one of my endeavors. Of course, there are better and more effective ways to do things, but I have yet to find what they are.
What I have been doing though is trying to simplify and minimize the amount of work that I am doing at a time, and at the same time, know what things I really want. I actually was a lot worse than this a couple of years back; I wanted to do everything with very little time.
For now, what works best for me is to do things 1 or 2 things at a time, concentrate on those until they are done; but at the same time, write down the other things that I wanted done in the near future. I believe that is why I have immediate, short-term and long-term goals. It's like a sticky note at work: I know that I want to do it, but I will in due time.
It looks like an organized mess, but it's a mess that works for me.
What I am doing now is I actually do the immediate goals (which trains myself to do things when I say it), then look at the short-term goals and getting them done gradually (eg. weigh training, career, etc. which teaches me gradual improvement and consistency) and the long term goals are something that I aspire to and to be done in an indefinite future (Real Estate, cooking, etc. which I am teaching myself that life's challenges never ends).
And at the same time, I have an abstract result I want, but I concentrate more on the effort than I put in rather than the result. (Eg, If I don't make 80kgs and only reached 78 by December 2009, I will always know that I was only 66Kgs back November 2008).
Of course, this is not perfect, but it is the best I could muster at the moment (because I get most of them done). But with the tools here and your these exercises, I know that I will change for the better in time.
__________________
A man is defined by how much he loved, how much he lived, and how much he is willing to let go. |
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John_V
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 11/08/07
Posts: 336
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| | 09/20/09 at 04:11 AM | Reply with quote | #8 |
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Homework (Continued):
Unreactive Expectations:
I remember when I started to learn about "Pickup" back in early 2007: I was heartbroken, didn't like myself, unhealthy, and wanted a woman simply because I wanted to be accepted into the norm so I won't be that lonely anymore.
I remember taking my first Pickup101 workshop: I was scared as hell. I always knew that I was funny and energetic, but I always thought that women didn't really like me for that so I was looking for more ways of trying to impress them. I remember taking a "Banter Sheet" with me and memorized them line by line until I don't have to think about them. I thought, "Finally, the answer to all my problems. Girls will like me, get laid, and I will be the star attraction of the whole class. I won't be alone anymore!"
I was so wrong...
Women gave me weird and dirty looks, I was going amok like a clown trying to look for an audience to accept me, and men were giving me a hard time, with my all knowing stubborness that I was doing the right thing.
Nothing seemed to be working for me.
Only when I was finally getting tired of the exercise and just dropped the whole charade did I start to get the attention of the whole place. I was dancing and the girls were groving with me, guys were giving me the cheers, and for some odd reason, girls I pass by start slapping my ass.
After this event, I took another 2 workshops in the hope of really improving my skills with women (and still trying to get laid). But to no avail, I only learned "techniques" that didn't get me anywhere.
But with all those experiences that I have (and the xxxx amount of "approaches" I have done), I realized that all I wanted was to be fine with who I really am at this moment and just deal with the challenges I have in front of me. Instead of getting results, I worked on working on myself regardless of effort. To be consistent with my own actions and accept whatever result that may come by. I believe that being here in the UCP has helped me a lot in being able to deal with myself and know what it really means to be happy, even with life's challenges, with or without a woman.
Shaping:
Consistent actions I do when it comes to women (and people in general):
When talking to ANYONE ask, "How was your day?" When listening, smile and breathe in with proper eye contact When talking, breathe and pay attention to my body response Only follow 3 rules with anyone all the time: BOLD, POLITE, HONEST Be endearing, even when the other person isn't
I have made my approaches on Shaping more abstract so I can only concentrate on the effort that I make, instead of trying to attain something objective or out of my control. That way, it becomes an automatic response, instead of something like a routine that I have to switch on. It also gives me a sense of acceptance because I have done what I have to do, regardless of the result. Consistent actions for my own self development:
Any immediate goals, write into a planner to be done immediately Any short term work, write into planner everyday and spend at least 20 minutes a day until it is done Any long term goals, write into planner as a reminder for "Future Purposes" Spend at least 2x45 minutes a day on training my body and have abstract results written on planner To remover overwork or burn-out, spend time with immediate results first, then short term, then long term. But REST in between those. Mentally reward self for every finished work, no matter how easy it is. EG. Good work, champ.
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A man is defined by how much he loved, how much he lived, and how much he is willing to let go. |
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