LVo3 Forum - Helping Shy Guys Get a Great Girlfriend Since 1843! - Sep 2009 - Living at Your Edge

Living on Your Edge: Week #4 Podcast

Shawnk — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 18:23:38 GMT

Welcome to your final week of living on your edge.
This is where it all comes together.

Here's just a taste of what you're going to get:

Deep Identity and your values

Vision - design your life

The rest of your life

Get it here:

Podcast

Notes

Forum: Sep 2009 - Living at Your Edge

3. Living on Your Edge - Week #3 Podcast

Shawnk — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 19:39:26 GMT

Welcome to week #3 of living on your edge.

This week Almog gives us a crucial competent of leaning into your edge:
tracking and debriefing.

It may not sound all that sexy BUT, the results are:

*Increasing your intuition

*Learning at a rapid rate

*Knowing that you're growing

Listen to the podcast and review the notes:

Podcast

Podcast Notes

Forum: Sep 2009 - Living at Your Edge

KJ's notes

KayJay — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 22:23:17 GMT

Al, thanks so much for these two podclasses. I think you elucidated the concepts involved very clearly, and I found them poignant, and holding a lot of bearing for where I stand at the moment.

Recently, I have felt myself on a plateau - I have not found found the results I have been getting lately to be comensurate with the time I have been putting in this year, and with the importance that "getting this stuff sorted" holds for me. That is, having been listening to dating and seduction audios, or watching DVDs, and having been putting in time to both day and night approaches, I cannot say that my results this year have been any better than past years. Which led me to that old adage:

If you keep doing what you have always done, you will keep getting what you have always done.

As part of my coaching session with Andrew in last month's UCP we discussed why I felt I was still getting what I always had gotten, and what I needed to do to break out. And we set goals for me over a 30-day period, which will be reviewed at the start of October (please see below).

Where is my comfort zone?

1. In an indirect manner, trying to initiate a conversation with a woman in most environments. ie. on the street, on public transport, in a bar.

The limitations here:

- my flake rate was remaining too high for it to be randomness on the girls' part, leading me to think that I was not being "compelling" enough;

- sometimes I could not come up with a relevant situational opener so I would either bail on the approach or come up with something really lame and ineffective.

2. Going to cocktail bars where I know everyone (and get treated extremely well), but where I am only going to encounter the same crowd that I always have.

3. Spending time with existing friends rather than actively seeking to strike up new male friendships (NB: this having been living in this city for two years now - I was at my edge when I arrived, made efforts, and managed to quickly establish a great circle of friends)

Where is my edge?

1. Near the outset of an interaction, directly and unapologetically express my sexual desire for a woman.

I tried a direct approach in a restaurant mid-last year. I felt I sucked at it so much (ie. I viewed it as a failure) that I did not attempt it again.

2. Going to a bar or a club by myself, where I do not know anyone, and making a night of it (where oddly I feel more comfortable working the room by myself, when I am still "here with friends", even if they are in another room).

How have my goals been reactive?

I have been expecting to get a certain number of outcomes from women (ie. numbers, dates, lays), which has also involved my comparing myself with other people. These are clearly reactive, requiring a certain outcome from a woman, and not just my input.

Where certain amazing women have made a very significant impression on me I have become outcome-dependent in that one circumstance, feeling myself something of a failure if if we had one or two dates but then she never returned my calls. That is again needing a reaction from someone which is not under my control.

The 30-Day Goals and Approximation Map

Until the end of September I will be:

1. Making a sincere, direct approach of an average of one girl per day. That is, 30 girls in 30 days, so if I am too occupied to find an opportunity on one day, I can make it up the next day. The girls will be such that they would elicit a little fear. ie. attractive, age-appropriate.. the kind I would want to date or continue the interaction with (although I will forgive myself if she turns out to be too young - sometimes hard to tell these days.. ).

I am giving myself the permission to make it a "drive-by" so that I do not become outcome-dependent (eg. needing her number) or put myself in the Panic Zone.

This, I believe, is the next step in my approximation map.

2. Going on more "holidays" to do approaches, where:

- you have no excuses to not approach because you are leaving in a few hours or days anyway, and

- wearing a "tourist hat" would see you go to any bar or club, even if you are just by yourself, because otherwise you would miss out.

PS. This far in September I am meeting the goal that was set. In making these approaches I note that even if she does not want to continue the interaction I still feel good about it, because I faced the "little fucker" in my head who was trying to come up with excuses.

Forum: Sep 2009 - Living at Your Edge

Eric's Edge

ericl — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 04:00:09 GMT

2-4 things I've been putting off:

- Unsubscribe from a couple of credit card "services" that are really just wasting my money.
- Clear coat the new table and nightstand I bought last week
- Cleaning up my room

By 10 days from now, Sept. 22 I will call and cancel those services, pick up some clear coat stuff from Home Depot and tidy up this warzone!

Some places where I hit my edge:
- Going really hard at the gym, knowing that I tend to recover quite slowly, it's usually 4-5 days before I feel ready to lift again.
- Asking for dates/phone numbers from girls
- Learning how to invest & get out of the "rat race".

What I can do, and steps to improve these things:
1. Investigate some supplements like glutamine/creatine and find out if they can shorten my muscle recovery.
2. I currently don't meet a lot of new women, this would be a good step... I'm pretty comfortable with maintaining eye contact and once I'm in a conversation it usually goes ok. So my next step is to start introducing myself to more people.
3. I've gone to a few seminars and read a few books on real estate and stock investing, but I'm not really comfortable with the "creative" financing ideas that seem to be the key to really being successful with real estate investing. I'd really like to meet someone that's already experienced with this sort of thing so they could help me understand how to make these things work. My goal is to get into the real estate investing market by next summer and eventually have it replace my current job altogether. I'm not sure what my next step is here, I can't really make "meet someone who's experienced in this" as a time-sensitive goal.

Forum: Sep 2009 - Living at Your Edge

Felix' Personal Edge

ledAstray — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 00:12:34 GMT

First off: I really liked the podcast. Why? Because I think this topic should come first. I mean absolutely first. You don't need ANY knowledge at all if you are not going to get into the situation of applying said knowledge. So mastering expanding your horizon and comfort zone is IMHO an absolutely crucial prerequisite to taking on any challenge in life. So here are my edges:

Taking action and Integrity:

1. Make a list of 2-4 things that you should have done for a while but have been putting off:

Call Jrg
Call Paul
Mown the lawn
Vacuum clean my flat

2. By the evening of the 14th of September I will have:

called Jrg
called Paul
called Peter
mown the lawn
vacuum cleaned my flat

Comfort zone and edge:

I avoid cold/warm approaching women and sometimes men because I feel what I'm saying is insignificant
I only go out of the house if I really have to
I want to study, but end up surfing the web instead
I want to eat healthy and cook, but end up ordering food or eating crap instead
I want to exercise, go running or to the gym, but end up staying at home
I want to get up early, but end up sleeping late

What is within my comfort zone:

Walking outside, looking girls in the eye
Taking a study book and browsing through it
Eating whatever happens to be in the fridge or ordering food
Walking to the grocery store
Interacting with people that showed interest in me in the first place
Sleeping late

The next smallest accurate step I can take to improve my edge:

Asking a random girl for directions
Studying for 1 hour Monday til Saturday
Cooking something healthy 3 times a week
Exercising 3 times a week for half an hour
Getting up at 9 am everyday

Forum: Sep 2009 - Living at Your Edge

2. Finding your Edge - Week #2 Podcast

Shawnk — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 23:17:12 GMT

Hey guys, hope you enjoyed the first podcast.

I will also try and follow the people who do have a private journal and give them my advice. The more you write the more feedback I'd be able to give (within reasonable bounds of course!). Sometimes you would be surprised - I will shine a light on a completely "blind spot" for you. So that's the power of this forum, use it if you want to get the full benefit of this month.

Soooo, is everything clear about your edge, comfort zone, your integrity and the importance of taking action and having a focus towards it?

Now lets move on to week #2
Download here:

Week #2

Q

P.S. Here are the notes for week #2.

Click Here

Forum: Sep 2009 - Living at Your Edge

Edwin on the Edge.

EdwinSykes — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 16:38:13 GMT

Listening to the podcast made me aware that I actually have a lot to be happy about from the last couple years. There have certainly being a lot of times that I leaped out my comfort zone and sometimes I pushed myself too far. There were also times where I have done things I have never done before and I look back on those times very fondly.
The thing that was missing though was consistently being on the edge of my comfort zone. Leaping out of my comfort zone is far too stressful. I took a boot-camp with a company in London just over a year ago and by the end of it I felt terrible. I can see now that if I am constantly living on the edge of my comfort zone I can accomplish a lot very quickly.

Homework:

Taking action and Integrity:

1. Make a list of 2-4 things that you should have done for a while but have been putting off:

Getting back into daily martial art practice.
Writing back to friends on facebook.
Getting back into daily Tai Chi fan practice.
Getting started on making a showreel for my film music.

2. By the evening of the 10th of September I will have:

Practiced marital arts at home for at least 10 minutes.
Replied to at least one friend on facebook.
Practiced Tai Chi fan at least once.
Watched one film that I considering putting in my showreel.

Comfort zone and edge:

I avoid talking to women even when they make it clear that they would like to talk to me.
I hate getting up early.
I hate exercising first thing in the morning.
I tell myself that I don't have time to go out and be social.

What is within my comfort zone:

Making eye contact and smiling at women.
Getting up when I feel like it.
Getting up and making a cup of coffee.
Having time to play video games.

The next smallest accurate step I can take to improve my edge:

Nod my head as a greeting while I smile at a woman.
Go to bed extra early, meditate and then get up when I feel like it.
Gett up, make a cup coffee and while the kettle is boiling do some stretches or warm up exercises.
Go out to a coffee shop, chat with the baristas, read a book and come home and play video games.

Forum: Sep 2009 - Living at Your Edge

The Edge Of Ben's Reality

Benson — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 16:16:25 GMT

Hi Almog and everybody,
                                     Incase you guys don't know me, I'm Ben, just turned 25. Was in the UCP about a year ago but stopped it, and am back again.

Its interesting that I should just join the UCP and find you doing coaching for it, because recently I found your site and youtube videos and it interested me as i'm in Australia, about 4 hours from Melbourne. Though the seminars are not possible at the moment as I quit my job and went on the dole so I could do a small business course and teach martial arts. So money is quite short. But I will make sure I have enough for the UCP for a while.

One question though Almog, have you had any affiliation with Badboy? You initially did remind me of him, but listening to you and watching you more, i'm thinking that less.

So onto the podcast and exercises.

This podcast shone light on my biggest challenge at the moment. ACTION and comfort zone.

In the last few years i've got caught up in the "you can sit at home and do inner game work and eventually it will happen in real life without effort" thing.. I swear some of them market it like that. But going from big success when I really worked on it and took alot of action to barely nothing.. the proof is in the results. I've learnt alot of good things from inner game work. But need to really combine it will expanding my 'edge'.

Basically i've been sitting at home on the computer, not going out much, thinking "if I work on myself at home it will be all ok".. Fuck that.. maybe its helped a bit, but the only times its helped is when i've gone out combined with it. (e.g natural grounding then going out) and afformations.

--------------------

1.    Make a list of 2-4 things you should have been doing for a while but have been putting off. This isnt in the area of confidence with women.

1. Clean my car (happens RARELY, unless my friend gets sick of it being dirty and cleans it haha, I hate cleaning, its quite dirty at the moment).
2. Code Of The Natural Exercises. (Rob Brinded program on posture, and moving like a 'natural' apparently, sounds good but haven't really tried it yet).
3. Do work on my business plan. (I've been putting this off for weeks, and only have about 8 weeks total to do it. Back at school this was common, i'd do things very very close to the due date, gotta interrupt this pattern).
4. Write a letter to my natural mum. (I am adopted, used to write each other, we lost contact because I didn't reply back for ages and have put it off for years due to fear and insecurity about it..

2.       Your comfort zone and your edge Notice in the next week the things that you avoid doing because you are uncomfortable doing them.

I've been noticing these things a bit more lately. Some ideas. Some of these are too far past my edge. Can't quite decide which ones on the edge yet.

-Problems showing interest in girls. Maybe this is from the old PUA crap of "you must never compliment, be a asshole" kind of BS.. so maybe I can start by checking them out a bit more overtly when I see one I like, or complimenting girls I already know.

-Talking to girls I don't know. I'm usually pretty good if a girl is introduced to me or I somehow come across and pretty good when they serve me in a shop. But when it comes to approaching myself, thats out of my edge at the moment. I've been saying 'hi' to some women while walking past them as a start.

-Going out to find new people to teach martial arts. Have 1 student, a friend because I haven't gone out to really look for good students. A good start is ringing a few people who have expressed interest in the past and trying again to get them to train.

-Ringing a girl on the phone. I used to do this. Then sms become popular and gave me an excuse to not have to do it. Now I find it quite hard. Also phone is harder because i'm not a real talkative person, I can get away with that more in person if i'm with a girl as the environment can bring conversation and I can be physical. I liked your idea of putting their number in the phone but not ringing as a start. As even thinking about ringing them and having the number up makes my heard beat harder, so its a start.

-Being more of a leader in my friends circle. Its always been that I just seem to go along with it, i'm just there and go along with it. I can start by organizing something little that a few of us can goto, even if its just going out to the clubs.

-I still live with my parents, and I feel its a big thing stopping my full maturity. I have moved out twice for 6 months both times and ended up back here. I do want to move to Melbourne but finances is the question.. so maybe if I found somewhere cheap where I am for a while, as that will build on my maturity and being able to look after myself better. I could start by inspecting some houses and searching for possible places to live.

...

Sexy Time to All

-Ben

Forum: Sep 2009 - Living at Your Edge

Week 1 - Your questions here

QBall — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 23:55:02 GMT

Hey guys, hope you enjoyed the first podcast (did you? feedback please). I sent it to my Mom and she said she liked the content but I didn't sound enthusiastic enough!! LOL, nice one Mom. (I had equipment failing on me and it was my third time recording it...)

Also, are you enjoying the written notes? The free report?

Either way, questions and answers can appear here if you don't want to start a public journal. Please free to answer other people's questions here, this isn't my thread only , if I feel you're off track I will correct you.

I will also try and follow the people who do have a private journal and give them my advice. The more you write the more feedback I'd be able to give (within reasonable bounds of course!). Sometimes you would be surprised - I will shine a light on a completely "blind spot" for you. So that's the power of this forum, use it if you want to get the full benefit of this month.

Soooo, is everything clear about your edge, comfort zone, your integrity and the importance of taking action and having a focus towards it?

Q

Forum: Sep 2009 - Living at Your Edge

Livin' on MY Edge

Nathan — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 20:24:07 GMT

Taking Action and Integrity
-I've been putting off cleaning my room since the semester started. It should only take me about 30 minutes or less to clean it so I'll get it done before this weekend is over.

That's it really... I've been on top of my game for everything since school started.

Comfort Zone and Edge
-My exercise and diet are fine, I spend more time in the gym than I do in class (and I go to all my classes )
-I haven't started my job yet, but I'll only have to work 4 hours a week. Easy.
-I'm always pushing myself to communicate a little more. At the football game today I sat with the group of guys starting all the chants
-I talk to girls a lot, actually... way more than guys (there are just more women here ). The problem I'm running into right now is that I somehow always end up talking to freshmen girls that still have their highschool boyfriend. If my initial reaction is that the girl just isn't feeling it then I move on. I'm never gonna make my way around all of them (too many that I'm attracted to), so I'll stick with the ones that are showing me interest too.

What's in my Comfort Zone and What Steps can I take to Move Closer to my Goals
-With girls my comfort zone ends after the kiss. I can be sitting in a lecture hall of 200+ people that echoes like a bastard and tell a girl she looks cute; I can be walking down the street and give a random girl a compliment; I've even done the literal chase and ran after someone to tell her she was cute. Right now I'm just maintaining my ability to approach while I play the numbers game trying to find a single girl. And each time just reinforces my perception of my ability to talk to women... and it's still fun even if she does have a boyfriend Most of the time I can tell when a girl wants to kiss me (I'm not perfect ) and I'm real good when the time comes for that. But afterwards is where it gets uncomfortable. I don't have the confidence that only comes from experience in that aspect.

This is actually getting into what my coaching call with Shawn Keegan was about. I told him that I can get the kiss, whether it's from something that started in a daytime approach or at a party, and more recently I've been able to get head... but I can't get laid. Now I will admit that I haven't been out partying yet this semester, but my birthday and rush week are coming up real soon. I'll have more chances, It'll just take some time.

Damn I feel like for the past couple months each UCP month and each free coaching call all lead down to the same thing... which is what I just got into, yet again, haha.

Forum: Sep 2009 - Living at Your Edge

Living Life At the Edge

John_V — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 15:08:26 GMT

Getting ready for a New Bootcamp with new goals and drive.

I may not get through all of them, but I am sure I am not taking anything lying down.

Will get through the new podcast and with the new homework.

Forum: Sep 2009 - Living at Your Edge

Finding Your Edge - Week #1 Podcast

Shawnk — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 02:14:52 GMT

Welcome to Week #1 of Living on Your Edge.

The first week we're going to how to find your edge and get past it.

Listen Here:

When you're finished, here are the notes for this week:

Week #1 Notes

Forum: Sep 2009 - Living at Your Edge