LVo3 Forum - Helping Shy Guys Get a Great Girlfriend Since 1843!

The Ghost of PickUp Past

DanielJ — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 14:32:56 GMT

Hello friends...
Actually, I probably don't know most of you, except maybe Sean.

It looks like this forum is still active, so I thought I'd share a post and share what I'm up to these days. (By the way, Sean and I used to coach together at PickUp 101, if you haven't figured it out by now.)

So, I put up a goodbye post on my "pickup" blog here:
http://daniel-the-lover.blogspot.com

And, I've moved on from pickup, women, coaching, and all that. In fact, I'm living the life of a monk right now. I may go back to coaching some day, but only time will tell.

I don't really have much to confess, but I like this section of the forum, so I thought I'd write here. Plus, since I don't have anything for sale anymore, nor any involvement in any businesses whatsoever, I guess I can speak pretty freely.

If I were to confess, there'd probably be two things. One, I've done some DUMB fuckin' things in my life. That's probably obvious, because we all have. I don't regret much in the world of pickup... There was that one girl who got pissed off at me like fuck after she took second place in a threesome. And, there was the thousands of girls who I crashed and burned with miserably. And, there were all the bad tips I probably gave to guys while I was still finding my voice in the pickup world. And, well... this list is getting long already.... and, I did some really bad sales pitches too. I don't like selling.

And, there were some other one-night stands that just kinda felt gross afterward - probably for both me and her.

I think the dumbest thing I did in my whole pickup experience was try to convince guys that they NEED anything in order to be happy. That's a lame fuckin' attitude.

You don't NEED women, you don't NEED a coach, you don't NEED this forum or whatever Sean is selling these days ... you don't NEED shit! Happiness is independent of the world of the senses. 100%. Happiness is independent of all your excuses and all the people/things you may blame. 100% Happiness is independent of your personality and whether or not you're "weird" or "akward" or whatever. 100% Happiness is independent of your success, achievements or list of women you've fucked 100% Happiness is independent of how many times per day you masturbate! 100% ... And, that's a trippy lesson to learn, but the sooner you learn it the better!

The whole idea of coaching is based on the idea: "there is something better than this." But as Jack Nicholson said "What if this is as good as it gets?" Yup. There is nothing better than this! This is reality. This is life. It's happening NOW. You don't need a coach to get you to here and now. That's dumb.

2) (Actually, I already forgot what the second confession was)... I think it was the part about coaching. Coaching seems now like a bit of a gimick, and the whole world I was immersed in while living in San Francisco was thick with "Personal Development Junkies". It's a drug like anything else. An endless hole of personal flaws that can be endlessly improved. Always feeding the beast of craving.

Speaking of drugs, I've been thinking lately that Banter is a lot like a drug. And, this being the case, that'd mean that teaching guys banter is kinda like teaching them to get a girl drunk or slip something in her drink. Banter really just gets girls high, and you too. It's a great way to numb out all your troubles. Real happiness usually doesn't feel anything like the buzz of banter. Now, of course, occasionally, there is a really spontaneous banter which emerges which I'd call "concious banter"... where both parties are really concious and in their bodies, and alive. But, this is more rare, and I don't really see this distinction being taught well.

Anyway, those are some thoughts. Or ramblings. I haven't thought this out very well, so excuse if I haven't made much sense, etc.

Well, I'm in India now, actually in Dharamsala (where the Dalai Lama lives). I just saw him talk a week ago. Cool. I've been meditating hardcore, and coming closer to the truth about this whole "existence" thing we're all a part of. I'll let you know when I get there.

I'm off for another 50 days of silent retreat soon, so won't be around much to field any replies. But, I am an open book now about pickup and about anything, so feel free to write.

If you want to hear about my adventures, I'm keeping a new blog about my travels and meditations, and I update it whenever I'm not on retreat. I've got some cool photos too. Check it out here:
http://bhavanatraveler.blogspot.com/

Much love, Sean. May you grow in wisdom and happiness.

Much love to you all.

Daniel Johnson
Dharamsala, India

http://bhavanatraveler.blogspot.com

Forum: Confessions

watching porn with your girl.

makavelirip1088 — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 08:36:11 GMT

i just wanted your guys opinion of, is it a good idea to watch porn with your girlfriend. My girl was shy about sex before and now she asked me if we could watch it together. I would apreciate any comments.

Forum: Relationships & Sex

A great extract from an actual paper

Ivan — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 13:04:43 GMT

Im a bit of a dork that way; I like newspapers. The actual paper. In a park, in the sun on a lazy day.

This is a paragraph from an article written by a psychologist in response to a mother asking about her son who suffers from Asperger syndrome and has a difficult time adjusting in school. Although insightful for all, I thought his reply was particularly relevant to the boilerplate on this 30+ forum and wanted to share it, in my translation:

The truth is that many people lie to themselves. In theory they say that everyone is of equal value and should be treated accordingly. In practice, however, in interactions, they discover and face sides to themselves that are not so good. At this crossroads, they have two options: they either turn their back on people, or they confront themselves and their insecurity. The last option requires a certain flavor of courage.

He then goes on to talk about what he refers to as truly taking responsibility for yourself and your life and not projecting your insecurities onto others, or perhaps in simpler terms being real with yourself and not live that lie:

Its hard to describe the feeling that comes with being a leader in this, but try to imagine that you are, say, at a get-together and meet a peer who suddenly says or expresses implicitly: Youre a (insert your favorite derogatory remark)!, and that youre reaction is to look at that person with compassion and reply, Indeed, but I hope you dont feel too insecure about being around me.

Wow. Food for thought. The last part took me a couple of reads before I got the depth of it.

I just had the pleasure of Cameron replying to a post of mine and this article reminded me of the signature text in his posts:

Words give us a protective facade and it costs very little make them ours. Action costs a lot more, maybe because the reward is a hidden one to begin with, and in the end it's the only indication of who you truly are.

So easily forgotten

Talk is cheap. And thats coming from an old talker. Now more of a walker.

Be well, all!

Forum: Grown-Ass Men: 30+

How much do social skills correlate with man's attractiveness?

Hammer_Bro — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 20:33:05 GMT

How much do social skills correlate with our attractiveness? On one hand, there are guys with excellent social skills who never get beyond friendship with girls, but on the other hand, I haven't heard of anybody who's stuck in his head, has poor social skills and still gets girls. WTF?

Forum: Ask Anything

A variety of "dating at work"

Ivan — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 21:20:27 GMT

A month ago I met and worked with a customer for a few weeks. Gorgeous and intelligent woman in her mid 20s. Little clues in conversation, plus good banter, sparked my interest. She seemed deep and caring, and with a slightly dorky sense of humor.

I think I made the mistake of making a safe move recently. Because of the work situation, I felt like I should be less direct. I told her that I was breaking at least one rule of business by saying that I thought she was absolutely lovely, and that if we were to have our conversations outside of work, I think it'd be great fun. Then I gave her my number.

For some reason I felt that it would make the whole working relationship awkward by asking her out directly. (As I write this I think I'm spotting a case of too much thinking... Am i right?)

I've never dated anyone I work with. Could I have in stead have given her a couple of options of times and dates and asked her out directly without making it an uncomfortable situation?

Thanks guys

Forum: Grown-Ass Men: 30+

I totally feel like shit right now

Silentwarrior — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 15:21:43 GMT

I met this woman online..She actually lives in another state but she is thinking of moving to NY so she came to NY to do a job over here.She will be leaving tomorrow.Everything was fine,we met yesterday,we had dinner and then we went to a bar and that's when I totally screwed things up.We started chatting with other people at the bar and I got really drunk after a couple of shots and ended up throwing up in the bathroom.It was a small bar so everybody saw what happened.I actually don't remember what happened last night and I actually woke up at a hospital.That was totally embarrassing.

I sent her a text today apologizing for ruining the night I said "you have no idea how bad I feel about the situation happened last night." First she said "I'm glad you're ok" but then I asked her what really happened last night and she didn't answer that.I guess she doesn't want to talk to me anymore and I really like this woman.I'm 23 and she is 29 so she didn't actually take me that seriously but I really screwed it up bad. Is there anything I can do/say to her for her to forgive my dickness? Because I'd really like to see her again.

Forum: Ask Anything

My situation

johndike — Thur, 25 Feb 2010 13:43:44 GMT

From what I hear im an attractive guy, i just dont talk much. Also im timid when it comes to walking up to girls and talking to them, How can I fix this? Another thing is introducing myself to them one i get there attention and making the conversation flow through, i cant just ask for the number. This really sucks. ALso im 19 years old

Forum: Ask Anything

Great Openers For Groups of Women

chocolate — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 22:23:58 GMT

Hey guys! I live in Isla Vista which is a "college-town" at UCSB and there are always parties here and women everywhere! Women are always roaming the streets looking for parties and usually they are in groups of at least 4 women or more. What are some great openers to get these women to come hang out with me?

Forum: Ask Anything

guys tell me what this means

aristos84 — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 20:08:47 GMT

i ve been dating this girl for 2 weeks and i sence something wrong
when we are together she plays with her hair leans in and other iois
but she told me that she doesnt know if she loves me she cryed and told me that i was very rare and was attracted to em but she doesnt know if we should be a coup.le

what should i do , i dont care for me i just want her to be happy

Forum: Ask Anything

I made my first female friend last year.

Hammer_Bro — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 16:00:31 GMT

After I quit trying to "pick up" girls all the time and instead started to focus on developing my social skills last year, I made friends with a girl as result. Boy, how good it felt to make a new friend for a long time! After 7 years, that is. I'm 22 now.
I feel my brain's wiring has already changed for the better and I believe I can get to the level I was as a child: not stuck in my head all the time and being able to connect with others without struggle.

Damn, I've missed a LOT by having no girls as friends before!

Forum: Confessions

Never been in a long term relationship

username — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 15:21:48 GMT

Hey guys,

I have to say that I've hit 30 now and have never been in a long term relationship. I grew up with strict parents and were very shy growing up. I'm normal as far as I'm concern, I've never been depressed or on medications. I've just never wanted to be in a relationship enough to have it happen. I've been spending my non relationship times with my family, friends, and working on getting out of my shell. My friends think i'm a great guy and one of friend's new GF was surprised I'm still single. I'm happy to say that I have much more confidence now and want to experience being in a relationship but it seem like a lot of women are turned off by a guy who's never been in a long term relationship before. For instance, I was talking to this girl online and I told her about my situation and she stopped messaging me. I messaged again to find out why and was told she was turned off because I've never been in a relationship. Anyway, I also did a google search and there are people in the same boat as I am on various forums posting the same question and some of the replies from women were that they're afraid a person like me is a player, have commitment issue, have something to hide, a big red flag as far as they're concerned. THe bottom line is I don't wanna lie but my fear is that my options are kind of limited. Any advice is greatly appreciated

Forum: Confessions

some help

stevo91 — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 18:17:47 GMT

So ive taken a year off to work before i go into college due to some much needed money. but due to this i have found that its harder to meet new people and all though i do meet some new women at clubs it uselly doesn't work out too great in which ile find someone who is hot and will get contact info (number, full name)but will have problems escalateing from there to meet up again.
im just wondering what you guys would think would be good places to meet new intresting women.

the gym was one idea but i workout with a trainer with 7 other guys for football.

Forum: Ask Anything

some Help

stevo91 — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 17:13:09 GMT

the gym was one idea but i workout with a trainer with 7 other guys for football.

Forum: The Roaring 20's

sean i got the girl i wanted

aristos84 — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 02:45:16 GMT

today we went to a club she drank 2 drinks and then made her moves.........
i kissed her neck and then her ear and then i gave her a soft kiss

when i asked when she liked me she told me that in the beginning she didnt like me but as she got to know me she saw i was so kind and i trully cared for her........

i got a chick by being a nice guy? fuck the gurus..........lets be nice

Forum: Ask Anything

Ramblings about 2/14

naranja — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 15:38:33 GMT

Today is 2/14/10, otherwise known as Valentines Day, Singles Awareness Day, the feast of St. Valentine, etc etc. But what does any of that mean?

To some it means celebrating and recognizing loving relationships between two romantically involved individuals. To others it means celebrating the love and relationships among friends and family members. Some use it as an excuse to buy meaningless gifts for the person you are dating; and the list goes on and on. Sure enough the 'community' has a myriad of tips and tricks to get a date today; why you ask? The hell if I know, but what I can say is that on a day like today why do we make an effort to show we love and care for someone. I mean isn't that something we're supposed to do everyday?

Pop culture and the media in general paint this rather skewed picture of what love, romance and relationships are supposed to be. You're supposed to 'buy something' for the 'special someone' today ,your supposed to be romantic today. This picture of what marriage and dating is supposed be. These romantic comedies like "Valentines Day" and internet posting on 10 tips to keep romance alive, etc etc are in my view rather pointless. Then we see on T.V shows like the Real World, Jersey Shore, etc etc that show us precisely what's wrong with the view of relationships today. Not that I'm pointing the finger directly at MTV(they just have the better examples), but from what's on TV the picture is painted that relationships and love are messy. That inevitably being in love equates to feeling pain.

Personally, I don't feel like valentines should be a big deal. If Valentines Day is supposed to be a day where you recognize and celebrate relationships in general; then in my opinion everyday should be Valentines Day. I write this because this when I woke, I decided to log on to facebook. What I saw in my news feed was about 40 or so status updates that either a. had some recognition for the person they're dating or b. a rant on being single. I think both are kind of childish...

Granted I am currently single, and maybe that makes me biased(I'll let you be the judge) but I think we should really take a step back today and look at all our relationships with people. Relationships with our parents, friends, co-workers, colleagues, etc etc and think about what that means to us. How can we improve that relationship and grow as people. Sure there may be some bad relationships, but that mean we have to be mad or indifferent. Why not reach across the table and rectify that relationship. If the relationship is a good one, recognize that and let that person know that you cherish it. Furthermore, I think that is something we should do everyday or at least as often as possible.

Relationships with other people shape who we are. They shape our beliefs and customs. Relationships are what make the human race a beautiful thing, without them we'd be mindless robots simply doing what is necessary to survive. For me, yes I've had some good relationships and bad relationships with people. But each one of those relationships I thank God that I had/have them because they have made me who I am. I may not be perfect, and hell no one, but I like who I've become and who I am. So today 2/14/10 let us recognize the relationships we have in our lives and celebrate them. Tomorrow is 2/15 which means we must still recognize those relationships and celebrate them. Let us do this today, tomorrow, and everyday for the rest of our lives.

-End of Ramble
P.S I drank way too much coffee this morning and needed to burn off some energy

Forum: Confessions